Song Review: Love the Way You Lie

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I’ve found that work around Christmas time is very hectic.

Many of you have heard the song “Love the Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rhianna. It’s quite popular and has stirred a bit of controversy due to its topic of abuse. A few people have been trying to figure out how much of the song was written out of each of the artists’ experiences (Rhianna having been a victim of domestic violence and Eminem’s history of violence). From most of the research I have done, Eminem is the one who put the song together, asked Rhianna to sing with him, and the song was created as a warning sign for abuse (more on this debate at MTV‘s article on the song).

While I typically do not like that style of music, I actually really like this song and the message it brings.

For those of you who don’t know, this song is about the cycle of abuse between a couple. It shows the good and bad, the stubbornness, the determination to get it right eventually. I love that Eminem and Rhianna truly capture all of the emotions and logic that goes on in an abusive relationship.

I was telling my best friend the other day that an abusive relationship is like someone who’s bipolar. There’s the depressing moments–the sting after a shove, the emptiness after being called a whore. But there’s the manic moments too–the kiss after a passionate argument, the specific flower he knows you love, the late night dreams about having a mansion. My ex and I always said we barely loved each other more than we hated each other. We thought they went hand in hand.

It’s this passionate manic-depressant relationship that the song captures so well. I read someone once who complained that the video painted abusive relationships as glamorous, that different, less attractive actors should have played the parts and shouldn’t make out. But personally, having been in an abusive relationship, having friends who have been/are in abusive relationships, there is a glamor that comes from the manic parts of the relationship. It’s that memory that you keep playing over in your head, dreaming that someday, it will always be like that. You will always be happy. Someday the pain will end.

There is also the darker side too–when you are not loved very often, even the pain can be translated to love because you are so lonely in an abusive relationship, both for the abuser and the abused. Any sort of attention is better than nothing.

While we often think of the victim of abuse, and most of our media focuses on that perspective. I do think that this song and video taps into the mind/emotion of the abuser as well. Obviously, Eminem wrote this song out of his experience with his wife, expressing the complicated, downward cycle it took.

Monaghan, who plays the male in the video told MTV: “I think we tried as hard as we could to not glorify the violence, to try and explain that this was a relationship that is by no means ideal and a relationship that probably should have ended a lot sooner than it did. The concept of ‘Love the Way You Lie’ was essentially a look at the relationship that Eminem was in with his wife, Kim, so I kind of felt like I was playing Eminem a little bit, and Megan Fox was kind of playing Kim.”

There are many opinions going around about the meanings and such behind this song. All I can say is that I like the song and the complexities it really expresses. Maybe if you watch it, you will better understand what some of us have gone through. Maybe it will transport you into a situation that is common for thousands of men and women today. Then again, it may not help you see a different perspective at all. But I hope it does.

Here are the lyrics and a link to the music video. Enjoy.

Love the Way You Lie

Eminem featuring Rhianna

Chorus:
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there’s a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can’t breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It’s like I’m in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It’s like I’m huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I’m leaving you
No you ain’t
Come back
We’re running right back
Here we go again
It’s so insane
Cause when it’s going good
It’s going great
I’m Superman
With the wind in his bag
She’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad
It’s awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who’s that dude
I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength

(chorus)

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you’re with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit ’em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get ’em
Now you’re getting fucking sick
Of looking at ’em
You swore you’ve never hit ’em
Never do nothing to hurt ’em
Now you’re in each other’s face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit ’em
You push
Pull each other’s hair
Scratch, claw, bit ’em
Throw ’em down
Pin ’em
So lost in the moments
When you’re in ’em
It’s the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it’s best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It’s a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin’ over
But you promised her
Next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane

(chorus)

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn’t mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper’s just as bad
As mine is
You’re the same as me
But when it comes to love
You’re just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn’t you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed
I’ll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I’mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

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